Kim Kardashian: The Butt of the Joke or The Ass End or I'm Bi-assed

Whatup wit y'all niggas out dere, dig me?  From the blackest parts of the galaxy my nigga comes the slayer of millions.  Nahmean my dude, that black ass nigga that cut off Luke hand and shit.  The Empire Strikes Back ass nigga, my nigga.  The ORIGINAL FORCE PUSHER, ya heard? AKA DARTH VADER AKA THAT NIGGA ANAKIN.  Yo, word is born...I'mma spit my shit.

Lemme just say this, kid.  The broad got a golden body son.  That broad ass is like the stuff dreams is made of, man.  It's like if Padme had an ass like that I mighta had the strength to resist the Emperor's wrinkled, snow white, pale face ass, nahmean, and I wouldn't be that Dark Side nigga.  If Amidala had an ass like that kid Luke and Leia wouldn't of been the only kids to pop out her womb, feel me?  My name would still be Anakin, nigga.  Name mighta changed to Womb Slayer, ya dig?  I woulda been takin' all sorts of juices and berries and whatnot fam just to break her off like that, heard?  She'd be like, "Oh, Anakin, you all up in my stomach!" when I'd be strokin it son!  With an ass like that, worlds change my nigga.  An ass like that brings forth miracles yo.  With an ass like that, a stupid ass broad might actually seem appealing, ya heard?  An ass like that will have niggas stabbin' they mommas and robbin' they little sisters for WIC cards and shit.  An ass like that melt ice grills and make niggas put on ties and wash they ass more often, fam. But word, yo, I can't go back and shit. Water under the fuckin bridge my dude. 

Here's what I can't abide by though: This broad is basically famous because of fuckin' a nigga named Ray J.  That nigga ain't got no talent either, kid, so I wasn't amazed that those two no talent ass muhfuckas got together and made some shit happen.  It was like some magic, smoke and mirrors type shit they did to make us forget how useless they are.  I will say this though, that nigga Ray J was layin' some pipe to that broad.  I envy that nigga for that, yo (no homo).  But I do understand why they ain't stay together though.  Nahmean you can't have two dumb niggas in a relationship, man.  That's like Clash of the Retard Titans, my nig.  That's like watchin' Ernie and Bert have a tussle, dig?  Might be a whole lot of movements and slaps and shit, some muppet hair flying here and there, but nobody really feels shit.  Without that sex tape, she'd just be the daughter of Robert Kardashian nigga.  She'd just be another dumb ass broad with a fat ass and a pretty face.  They all over the world my nigga.  Right now, I can step out this mutha fuckin' room and see a fat ass walk by, nahmean?  I'm amazed that she's gotten all this damn attention off basically no talent my nigga.  In the talent department this broad is a tabula rasa: her fuckin' plate is nil, nigga.  Nada. Zero.  It's like, when I hear her talk, I can see fuckin' birds chirpin' and flying around her head and shit like she in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.  She just ain't all there my nigga.  Like she's an idiot savant or something my dude.  Like her talent is the uncanny ability to mesmerize people with her ass so that they overlook the fact that she's a real waste of space my nigga. That's her mutant power and shit. Tired of this shit, son.  I'm goin' in on these talentless folks, ya heard?  If they got nerve enough to get on TV and open they mouths like they got something important to say, I'mma be the one pokin' holes in they verbiage, nahmean?  I mean, if the broad had brains, she'd be like a 100 on a scale of 1-10 my nigga.  The broad body is bangin' like a damn 808 kid.  But she just seem really air headed, you know? Like I bet she wear a lead belt under her clothes to keep from floatin' away kid.  Or maybe her head is full of rocks and that's what keeps her ass from touching the fuckin' Sputnik satellite and shit. 

On the real though, all that said and shit, I can't say I want to light saber that broad into non-existence.  Can't say I would Force pull the moon on top of her dome and shit.  But I might like slap the shit outta her, nahmean.  It would be best she kept her mouth closed around Vader, son.  She is good to look at and shit, but the moment she open her mouth, I just get extra angry.  And I'm already mad and shit.  A nigga already mad cuz he had to be revived again after being killed by his own son, nahmean?  That's word.

And to that nigga who married her: hey yo Kris, how can you marry this broad with all these images and videos of this broad floatin' around the internet?  I mean, I can pull up your broad, right now, and watch Ray J long dick her 'til she buss one, dude.  That shit might be a violation.  Hope y'all got counseling my nigga. Hell, you might like that shit.

Lemme get the fuck outta here and shit.  Call these Empire niggas to come get me. 

May the Force be wit you and shit, niggas.

Can We Please Explode Michele Bachmann the Hell Outta Here Kid?

It's ya muthafuckin' guy Mad Vader, kid, aka Anakin Skywalker, aka The Black Mask, aka The Greatest Villain Ever aka Luke's gotdamn father.  Let me spit my shit!

Just want to touch ground on this bitch Michele Bachmann, ya heard?  After hittin' light speed through various galaxies, punchin' Andromedans in the throat, I have never witnessed such an utterly alien ass broad, nahmsayin'?  After light saberin' the hell outta fat ass Huts and hairy wookies, I have never seen such a mentally stunted ass specimen as Michele Bachmann. How this broad even get into politics, nahmean son?  On the real, she so dumb her eyes blink every time she has a thought, kid.  She so fuckin' stupid kid that she  can't even tell that her own husband prefers sperm milkshakes to eatin' pussy, feel me?  This broad is so dense that the difference between her brain and a brick wall will never be obvious. 

Ayo how could you not know Libya was in Africa? But I guess that's what you get being born to a couple of conservative parents in the state of Iowa (Norwegian Lutheran Democrats according to Earth's Wikipedia).  What the fuck is in Iowa, g?  No sports teams, other than colleges.  Farmland and cows and pigs and shit like that?  Growing up a rural fucking hick will stunt your ability to learn, I guess.  Here I am, from a galaxy far, far away and shit, been killed once already (technically twice Obi Wan ol' bitch ass) and this bitch just trying to stupidify (nigga I know that ain't a word) everyone to death.  How do they even allow people this stupid to put they face in front of a camera and speak son? Guess I should rethink that question after witnessing several seasons of Jersey Shore. Fuck. Here is a site dedicated to 10 of the craziest things this broad has said since being involved in politics.

I absolutely believe this broad is profoundly retarded.  She's like a highly functioning idiot, yo.  And I don't think there's any limit to the amount of silly shit that will pour out of her mouth.  Watch some of her YouTube joints, ya heard?  Then you will see the flicker of insanity in her eye like Jack Nicholson poking his head through the door in The Shining.  Word son she is like the black hole of thoughts.  It's like if you stand near her she will absord your good thoughts so that when you speak you probably sound as dumb as she does.  Hell, you can see the effect it has on her fat ass husband, who is definitely gay. 

Marcus Bachmann, yo....that nigga gayer than a pink ass pool party at Elton John's house.  That nigga softer than the walls of Luther Vandross bedroom.  He look like if you stabbed that nigga his body would leak chocolate mousse, kid.  Marcus Bachmann gayer than Jar Jar Binks in a fuckin' tu tu in the middle of a rainbow in downtown San Diego, son.  That nigga Marcus softer than a wet cream puff in a basket of donuts covered with a doily kid.  He sweeter than a merger of Krispy Kreme and Hostess, nigga.  He look like he like pissing sitting down.  Dude look like he fuck with his eyes closed, g.  Man fuck Marcus Bachmann, son.  He's a bonafide pillow biter.

The Vader thinks he actually hates this broad whole soul, feel me?  Don't go thinkin' I'm pro gay, and I done seen some pretty weird shit on Tatooine, but I just be like let these people live their lives.  May the Force give them the best lives they can have on this pitiful, miserable rock of a planet.  At least before I blow this bitch to pieces.


Let me jump on this fuckin' X Wing fighter and get the fuck outta here, son! May the Force be wit yall niggas and niggarettes!

MAD VADER SPIT: The INTRO

Heavy Hands Vader has entered the damn building, kid.  I know niggas like whoa what this nigga Vader got going on man, but word up it's been a long time coming. Tired of sitting on the outskirts of shit while cats just be on mad silly ass shit in the world, dig me?  Like these Republican fools holding up the economy like they a bunch of Wild Bill Hickocks and shit, dude. I ain't feeling that shit.  I mean, I'm an evil ass dude, but at least I got some respectable limits, nahmean?  On the real, you gotta look at the big picture. You tryna hold Obama black ass down but you make it real fucked up for everybody else? That's some evil, sad, disrespectable, unforgiveable type shit.  Make me wanna drop the whole Death Star on these muhfuckas. That's word to Halle Berry son.  Yall niggas should be slapped into last year to tell me you sorry so I won't smack your ass again in the future.

These old glitter throat ass bandits up in congress, boiled goose eatin ass bitches.  Wrinkled ass old white crones still on that bullshit trying to have niggas in chains and sweeping up in the kitchen cooking yams and hog noses and shit. I ain't on that son. Fuck they faces.

Got mad more to say but for now, may the Force be with you.

I think next up, Michelle Bachmann dusty, homophobic, gay ass husband having ass. Fuck that broad life, kid.